Sh*t Talk

My husband had a doctor's appointment today. I decided to go with him. It's Monday and raining and I'd only end up sleeping most of the day anyhow. His appointment was for 10:20 a.m, we get there early for paperwork and such.

Shorty is containing his boredom very well. A lot of 3 year old boys wouldn't do so well in such a boring place. Hell, I wasn't doing so well in such a boring place.

He decides he has to pee.

Husband takes him to pee. Naturally, the nurse calls hubby's name while he is in the restroom with little britches.

So we hurry on to get through this appointment. The sooner we're done, the sooner we can go grab some food somewhere! We get through all of the initial "history of this and that's, yes or no's" with the RN and are taken to sit and wait in an exam room for the doctor for an eternity.

To my great shock and surprise we were barely seated when the Dr. arrived. I know, amazing right!?!?!

The doctor is cool. Looks mean as heck, but comical. Which is nice, because he actually is funny. Which makes the appointment start feeling like time is at a complete stand still. And short britches is starting to become irritable and restless.

A few threats of a spanking buys me about 90 seconds when through mumbled conversation with the boy I hear, (whispering through clenched teeth) "Mom, I gotta poop."

Me-"Can you hold it?"

Britches-"No."

Me-"Just hold on a little longer, we're almost done here. Then we will go find a restroom. Okay?"

Britches (annoyed now)- "Ooookay." (sigh)

About 15 seconds later....

Britches-"I got TO POOP!"

Me-"Okay, are you sure you can't hold it for a couple of minutes?"

Britches-"No, I have to poop."

I interrupt the doctor find the nearest bathroom, which is occupied; Go back into the exam room, grab my purse and tell hubby that I'll just meet back up with him in the lobby.

Finally, a bathroom. Britches hops on, takes a pee, looks at me and says, "I'm done." To which I reply, "WHAT?!?! I thought you had to POOP!??" "OH yeah." (kerplunk & splash) "Now I'm done", he says.

So, I sit down and pee. While I'm peeing he says "Moooooooooo!" (I'm sure everyone in the lobby hears, as the echo bounced off the walls several times.) And immediately I'm like, "Sssssh! Why in the world are you MOOOING at me?"  His reply............



E....I....E....I....O!

Yep, he's my kid alright!